Down Home with the Food Network - NOT

Every time I see the commercial featuring Food Network newbies Gina and Pat Neely - the one where they introduce themselves and then ask everyone to celebrate Black History Month along with them and the Network - I laugh out loud. Don't get me wrong, I like the Neelys and their new show. I'm laughing because there are no other blacks on the Food Network roster, and it's somewhat embarassing to have the Neelys announce Black History Month like it's something the network cares about.

If the brass at Food Network cared at all about diversity, they would have more people of color in its regular programming. Oh wait, I forgot about whats-her-name from "Simply Delicioso"...because I never watch it. That woman squeals around the kitchen like Charro on a sugar high. I can't take it.

But I digress. My point is, I feel sorry for the Neelys, having to bear the burden of what is obviously the Food Network's own guilt over not having more ethnic hosts on its shows. Besides, can't everyone celebrate Black History Month? Why not have Bobby, Paula, Rachael (<--actually, leave her at home), Giada AND the Neelys announcing Black History Month?

Urasawa: Don't Pinch Me!

As children, there wasn't even a hint of doubt the night before a trip to Disneyland. We were so excited that we could barely sleep, and just the mention of it would send giddy shivers down our spines. As adults, it seems impossible to have such pure hope and expectation.

The night before going to Urasawa, the famed Beverly Hills establishment that has been called everything from the best in the city to the best in the universe for sushi, I started having my doubts. What if I've built it up too much in my mind? Maybe all those starry-eyed food bloggers were wrong somehow? Maybe their palates just don't know the difference between great and mind-boggling sushi? What if we are all disappointed?

But from the moment we were greeted at the door by a small staff of Japanese servers, all of my doubts disappeared. From the freshly-sanded maple sushi bar to the palate of fresh fish behind it, I knew we were somewhere special. And judging from the confident smile and proud posture of Chef Hiro Urasawa, we all knew that this man was as excited as we were about the meal to come.

What a meal it was. The perfectly chilled sake in the spotless blue glasses, the all-day-braised beef with crisp snap peas, the steamed mountain potato "pudding" with fresh wasabe and 24-carat gold leaf, the exquisitely marbled kobe beef and fatty foie gras for the individual shabu shabus....the list goes on and on. Every dish is lovingly prepared, every garnish is calculated and plays a major role of balance and texture. There's nothing whimsical or thoughtless about any of it. Each bite has been well constructed with much consideration of all the elements.

What lessened the meal's seriousness was the Chef himself, a smiling, playful and talkative man who can look you in the eye while wielding his razor-sharp knife on a squirming, unsuspecting prawn. His talent is truly something to behold, but the most impressive aspect is his sheer enjoyment in preparing this meal-of-a-lifetime for us and you.

So, without a hint of cynicism, I can truly say that this meal was exactly that - The Meal of a Lifetime. The toro melted in my mouth, the hirame was delicate and the uni, silky and rich, was the best I've ever had. And the service - oh, the service! Every time I'd take a sip of sake, someone would find a way of refilling it without my even noticing. Whenever I'd return from the restroom, there was a hot towel waiting for me at my place setting. It was the kind of thoughtfulness that allowed us, the customers, to be thoughtless and just enjoy the food.

Thank you Urasawa, for bringing back the excitement and wonder of childhood, if even for one day. It truly was a spectacular experience!

Sashimi on ice with hand-grated wasabe

Searing toro on a hot rock

Rendering the fat of foie gras for shabu shabu

Shrimp, sweet beans and root vegetables.

Chef Hiro at work

Cod sperm sack, deep fried.

Thinly sliced toro with flower petals

Uni with hairy crab

Hirame

Juan eating sushi the way it's meant to be eaten - with your hands!

Shitake mushroom

Aji - Spanish Mackeral

Sayori - half beak.

Awabi - albalone

Uni (sea urchin)

I think this was hamachi

Giant clam

Ama ebi - sweet shrimp

Saba

I can't remember what this one was...?

Tamago - egg

Beautiful dessert box with fruits and jellies

Sesame pudding and green tea

The Wolfster Cooks Up Grammy

Sometimes my job doesn't feel like a job at all. As a freelance writer, I get to go to attend a variety of events and parties and all I have to do is write about them. Don't pinch me.

Yesterday I attended a preview of the official Grammy party, which will be catered by THE celeb chef himself, Wolfgang Puck. And I, being the complete fart brain that I am, forgot to bring my camera. But thanks to the wonders of cell phone technology, I snapped a few (crappy) photos with my trusty Razor. Wolfie showed off some moves with his pastry chef, the fabulous Sherry Yard. Her offerings included mini cupcakes in Thai flavors, tiny brownies, beignets, mango pudding and lots of chocolate - including the amazing Grammy gift box made with dark chocolate and filled with chocolate truffles! I got one and will treasure it...until I eat it, which will probably be soon because it just looks and smells so divine!

The Puckster also showed Recording Academy Chair Jimmy Jam how to make a quick stirfry, which was funny for reasons hard to articulate. There's Jimmy Jam, a music legend, wearing a chef's coat and aviator shades trying to handle an incredibly hot wok. "Himmy, chu looks so goooood in da chef coat, so handsam," joked Puck, sounding like a high-pitched version of the Arnold. "You awe so kewl!"

So, did I try any of the food? No. Though we were invited to help ourselves, all the journalists just stood around, waiting for someone to be the first to greedily help themselves to Thai shrimp, slow-braised short ribs with mango and ginger, spicy noodle salad and vast array of desserts. I just couldn't bring myself to be the first, and after 10 minutes of waiting for someone ELSE to make the first move, I left. With my chocolate box of truffles, I do not need the calories anyway.

Just how much food will be served at the Grammy Celebration?

-500 lbs. of Wild-Caught Striped Bass

-1,800 lbs of short ribs

-1,200 lbs of Snake River Farms filet mignon

-10,000 wood-fired flat bread slices

-15,000 hand-cracked eggs

-700 lbs of Organic Montana wheat flour

-18 lbs of Tahitian Vanilla

-200 lbs of Valrhona Organic Chocolate

Do people in the biz even eat? "Even the skinny girls will be eating!" Puck told me. They'd better with all this food!

Detox Central

After a Super Bowl party (Woo hoo for the Giants!!) where I indulged in plenty of white-trash football food, I need to detox, and fast. Granted, the chili-and-cream-cheese-with-melted-cheddar dip, KFC spicy wings, meat pies from Portos, Kettle Chips, chocolate chunk brownies, 7-layer dip, bacon-wrapped ribs and macaroni and cheese tasted good at the time, but today, I suffered. Big time.

Luckily my sister gave me some mushroom, kale and farro salad she made, which I heated up with some sugar snap peas and red bell peppers. My body was craving something green, fiberous and not full of trans fats and cheese.

Barring overdoing it with numerous birthday celebrations this week (and trying in vain to stay away from the chocolate box of chocolate truffles - more on that tomorrow), I'll be indulging in a harvest of greens this week. At least that's the plan!