Quickie: The Olive Garden Culinary Institute

According to the Olive Garden commercials, the Italian restaurant chain trains their chefs at a culinary institute in Tuscany. "You mean they have to go all the way to Italy to figure out how to cut open a plastic bag of frozen sauce and thaw it?" questioned my friend Cat. Here's the description from the Olive Garden website:

"Olive Garden’s Culinary Institute of Tuscany is located in the 11th century village of Riserva di Fizzano. Every year Olive Garden chefs travel to our Culinary Institute to learn authentic cooking secrets from Italian Chef Romana Neri and Chef Paolo Lafata."

If you have to go to an institute to learn how to boil pasta and open pre-packaged baggies of sauces and bread sticks, you've got issues.

Lemon Bars for Tough Guys

I'm no girly girl, but lately I've been asking for a lot of help from the guys I work with. Physically, I'm kind of down-and-out right now (if you haven't read about my back problems, just peruse the last few posts), so I need help with everything. Moving a plant, carrying my laptop bag, changing the position of my office chair, and so on and so on.

Last Friday, I asked coworkers Tony and Joey to help move a big plant pot from the conference room to my office. "Man, I better get some lemon bars for this!" said Joey. Clearly, the guy knows what he wants. I mean, lemon bars? How random is that? At least it was something I could actually give him, because had he asked for something like boxing tickets or a Dallas Cowboy Superbowl ring, he would've been S.O.L.

So, here's some lemon bars for all your hard work. :)

Sunday Cooking: Single & Fabulous

People tend to eat first with their eyes, then with their mouths, so I always try to make food look as good as it tastes when I have friends over for dinner. But I also do the same for myself, even though I'm often dining alone at home and there's no one around to see my meals.

Today I made a crab salad and avocado "tower" with cucumber slices. I made the salad with crab meat, diced onions, bell peppers and celery, lemon zest, a touch of mayo and Dijon mustard. I then pressed it into a tuna can that I had saved and removed the top and bottom lids from. I then put mashed avocado on top of the salad, and refrigerated it for an hour. Sliced cucumbers topped the tower for added crunchy texture.

The result was a cool and flavorful summer lunch that tasted as good as it looked. Eating alone can be a fabulous experience, if you put a little bit of effort into it!

What I've Been Eating Lately

Even with my new hair cut, I'm still pretty out of sorts thanks to the on-going back issues. I'm still in physical therapy and next week I meet with my neurosurgeon - the guy who performed my back surgery just over a year ago. My hope is that he'll run some tests, find out what's wrong and find some non-surgical way to magically fix me right up. In the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to help the healing process along.

I am doing my physical therapy exercises every day, even if it means I have to use the conference room at work to lay down on the floor and do my stretches. And I'm trying to eat mainly anti-inflammatory foods, and low-carb, low-fat meals. I generally eat healthy but this no sugar, no processed starch thing is challenging. Thank God I can cook!

So here's a snapshot of what I've been eating:

Breakfast: Hard-boiled egg, 2 slices of Canadian bacon, 3 small tomatoes

Snack: 2 celery sticks with hummus

Lunch: Grilled chicken, roasted asparagus, cauliflower puree

Snack: 2 celery sticks with almond butter

Dinner: Grilled steak, tomato and cucumber salad (pictured above)

Of course I've fallen off course a couple of times, but that's the key to sanity. I highly recommend that everyone have one cheat meal a week. Last Sunday I had a slice of my sister's plum tart, and I did indulge in some wine at the Chateau last Saturday. How could I not? The sommelier brought out a bottle of a 2005 Peay Vineyards Pomarium Pinot Noir, and it was fabulous. And totally worth it!

Overall, it's been surprisingly easy, probably because I feel so much lighter and that, in and of itself, is a big motivator. I've been doing this for about 2 weeks, and have already shed 5 lbs. I wish I could say it's helping my back pain, but I'm still hopeful.

J-Lo, the Torte and the Hair

A couple of weeks ago at a foodie dinner, I met Antonio and Haidi. Antonio runs a wine business (he has vineyards in Tuscany and an import business here), and Haidi is a hairdresser. They are probably in their mid-50s, and are living the fabulous life. They love good food, wine and people, and they are happy to share their lust for life with everyone.

During our dinner conversation, the topic of my hair came up. Don't get me wrong; I am not one of these types who is super attached to her hair. But a few months ago, I got a terrible haircut. It was my own fault; I was feeling antsy and decided to try a new place on a whim. I went in looking like myself and came out looking like Scott Baio, circa 1985. The theme song from "Charles in Charge" rang through my head as I glared at my reflection in the mirror. When I told Haidi this, she waved one of her perfectly manicured fingers at me and said, "Dah-ling, you come to my salon and I make you look beaaaaaaautiful!" Antonio chimed in, "Oh yes, my wife, she make you look so wonderful all the boys will want you." How could I say no to that?

Haidi gave me the name of the salon, and I realized it was A) Located in Beverly Hills, and B) The salon frequented by such celebs at J-Lo and Wynona Ryer. Normally I could never afford such a place, but Haidi assured me that she'd take care of me. What could I give her in return, I thought? Though she was asking for nothing, I felt I needed to come with something to show my appreciation. So I whipped up a simple yet fabulous cherry torte - basic batter of eggs, flour, sugar, baking powder and salt with some macerated cherries and a quick brush of reduced cherry juice mixed with sugar. I wrapped it up as prettily as I could, and took it with me to the salon-o-J-Lo.

I left feeling utterly fabulous and pretty, thanks to Haidi's master hair-styling skills and her gracious and kind manner. She was thrilled to receive the torte, though in comparison to her gift of un-Scott-Baioing my hair, I felt I got the long end of the stick. It probably took her longer to do my hair than it took me to bake the torte!

I used this recipe, but added some grated lemon zest and vanilla to the batter. I also used cherries in place of the plums.

BBQ Bonanza: Kelso's Annual Barbeque

Every summer, my friend Rob (pictured above) celebrates the weather, his friends and good, old fashioned meat at his annual BBQ. Rob's somewhat of a celebrity on the barbecue circuit; I believe he's placed in several high-profile competitions, plus his original barbecue sauce is an award winner. And he's definitely a celeb among his group of friends, as every June he invites 100 or so of his closest for a cookout in his Silverlake back yard.

The only admission "fee" is "good beer." And if you don't know what "good beer" is, Rob will provide you with a definition. Rob buys and cooks all the meat and sides you can possibly eat, and you bring the beers. It's actually somewhat of an unfair trade for Rob, who buys hundreds of dollars worth of ribs, tri tip, brisket, chicken, pork, turkey, salmon, vegetables and condiments for the affair.

So with good beer in tow, my friend Tawny and I attended Rob's "love all, feed all" BBQ last Saturday. Talk about a food fest! Rob manned the grills and smokers, while his friend (pictured above) served as the fry guy. This dude fried up bell pepper rings, mushrooms, zucchini, bananas, Oreos (see lovely innards pic, below) and Choco Pies. Sound weird? I'm telling ya, there ain't nothing better than a fried Oreo, with its cakey soft chocolate center and gooey cream filling. Yum.

Fabulous fried goodness:

The "sides" include pita and homemade hummus, spinach dip, chips and salsa:

Needless to say, everyone has a blast at Rob's. Kids, adults, adults acting like kids - it's all good!

Vegetarians are welcome, as Rob points out with his tray of mushrooms (in the first pic), but I think it would be incredibly difficult to remain a vegetarian after taking a look at the vast variety of delicious, juicy meat cooking on the grills. I mean, what would you rather eat? Grilled mushrooms, or some succulent chicken thunder thighs? I'm with Bourdain on this one: MEAT.

One of four - yes, FOUR - "good beer" coolers:

And now, on to the meat. First up, the brisket:

...and the chicken thighs:

Mouthwatering pork ribs:

Juicy, delicious, fabulous tri tip!

Let's get a close-up of that tri tip, shall we? BTW, the key to eating at Rob's BBQ is to stay away from carbs. Last year, I made the mistake of making myself a pulled pork sandwich the second I arrived. Great sandwich; bad idea. The bun filled me up and I was unable to sample everything else. This year, Tawny and I stuck to proteins only (with the exception of the fried Oreos). OK, now back to the close-up of the tri tip:

And don't worry, even with 100+ attendees, you'll never leave Rob's house hungry. There were literally pans of meat left when we were getting ready to leave:

And, if the meat, veggies, fried goods and sides aren't enough, people always bring dessert. This year, a fabulous friend made red velvet cupcakes. It's like you died and went to the Heaven of Meat and All Good Things.

Big-ups to Rob, who again proved that there's no better grillmaster in the west. Looking forward to next year!

Paula Deen's Donuts

I was watching Paula Deen on Food Network yesterday and she's taking fat and calories to a whole new level. Her "homemade" donuts consist of cutting holes in Pillsbury Grand biscuits and deep frying them. Then she generously coats each one with glaze and sprinkles.

These rich, buttery biscuits already have about 200 calories and 9 grams of fat per biscuits - that's before being dunked into a bath of boiling peanut oil. Giada DeLaurentis does something similar, but she uses pizza dough, which is much lower in fat and calories.

Of course Paula's donuts looked fabulous, but dang...deep fried biscuits??? The other day, she fried up a bunch of crunchy ramen noodles in a whole stick of butter. Never mind that the noodles are already fried prior to packaging. That's like fat on top of lard on top of grease on top of melted oogles of oil.

But, I still love Paula Deen, and it's fun to watch her make her crazy concoctions. It's kind of a miracle that she isn't bigger than she is, or that her son Bobby manages to stay so fit. More power to 'em, I guess.

Even Food Can't Make It Better...For Now

I apologize for this non-food related post, but lately my mind has been consumed with things other than food (gasp!). For the last week, I've been dealing with severe back pain, which ultimately stems from an accident I had over a year ago. I had surgery for the initial injury, but every few months, I go through a new bout of pain that lasts about a week or so. This time it seems worse than usual and there seems to be no real end in sight.

Being part of the lovely HMO system, I've gone through the approval process for physical therapy and just started that up a couple of days ago. But it seems that the progress made during the session dissipates within an hour of me being back at the office (sitting has been wholly uncomfortable). I have to say it's put me in a bit of a funk; I feel like an 34-year-old trapped in the body of an elderly woman. I putter slowly around the house and office, pinched face and all. Driving is painful as well, and the LA traffic does nothing but aggravate me and the pain further.

I knew I was at the end of my rope when I went off on a customer service rep at Expedia.com today. The reason for my call was to cancel my upcoming vacation to San Francisco next week, as there is just no way I can make it in this condition. The excruciatingly long process of cancelling my trip was punctuated by long pauses of elevator/hold music, and at the end of it all I was told that I'd be out $125 for the processing and cancellation fee. ARGH. Sorry, Expedia.com guy, but I just couldn't take much more at that point and you caught me during a very bad week.

OK, I realize I am being incredibly self-indulgent with my whining here...but this blog has become not only a forum for my foodie adventures but for my life as well, and this is life right now. But I'm trying to be optimistic and still have hope that with the right combination of therapies, I will recover fully and be in tip top shape soon. "Soon" for me is in time for my trip to Italy in late September. That's my goal date.

In the meantime, I'm not really cooking much, as standing in the kitchen over a hot stove has lost its luster right now. But I will prevail and will post some fabulous foodie foibles soon. I promise.

Be well, and take care! I will be back sooooon.

C

Hell's Kitchen: The Wrath of Ramsey

I apologize for the non-food posting, but I am still unable to cook or really go out so I have nothing to report. But the one thing that lends itself well to being laid-up with a bad back is television, and lots of it.

Hell's Kitchen kicked off last night with the looniest cast of characters yet. Ramsey is still the constantly vexed, red-faced, bulldog-on-steroids character we've all grown to love (ok, maybe not "all," but I think he's kind of cool). His volcanic bursts of expletives are enough to make even the most thick-skinned wannabe see stars, and from the looks of last night's episode, at least two felt the physical effects of being barked at for hours on end.

Do I feel sorry for Aaron, the dough boy ball of tears who works as a cook at a retirement home? Nope. I mean, Aaron has seen the show, has he not? He should know after two seasons of Hell's Kitchen that Ramsey makes Simon Cowell look like a monk in a coma. In any case, Ramsey simply asked Aaron a question (without yelling - gasp!), and the poor poof burst into hysterical, squealy sobs. Aaron, in the words of Top Chef's Padma Lakshmi, "Get some balls and GO!"

But it was the girl's team that lost, and so one of them had to go - and snooty Tiffany got the boot. Though she couldn't even cook a single egg without breaking the yolk, she had nothing but harsh words for the competent Julia who went out of her way to help. Tiffany had her reasons, she claimed, for not allowing Julia to work as part of the team. "She cooks at the House of Waffles!" said Tiffany with utter contempt and sheer disgust. Earth to Tiffany: When you can't even cook up ONE egg in a [non-stick] pan, you ain't got nothing on waffle girl.

Next week: Aaron blubbers his way through yet another episode. I'll be watching.

Notes from the Sick Bed: Sunday Cooking

Sorry I've been MIA lately, but I've been bed-and-couch ridden these last few days. My back problems are acting up again (I had surgery a year ago but have struggled with flare-ups every few months since), and it's been difficult for me to walk, drive and cook. Thankfully there is a really good Chinese delivery place near my house.

But I still have some leftovers from last Sunday's cooking, which I'm really grateful for since I can't really get to the grocery store. Last week I made a spicy Mexican lentil salad, a "kitchen sink" kale dish and some roasted mustard chicken.

The Mexican lentil salad was very simple: Saute some onions and bell peppers in a pan until translucent. Add Mexican spices (I used a pre-mixed blend that I bought at a farmer's market last weekend) and stir for another minute. Add in cooked lentils and stir. Totally easy, and really flavorful. I added a minced jalapeno as well, which kicked the flavor up even more.

I also bought some kale, which I cooked up with some leftover frozen peas, leftover half of a yellow bell pepper and some red onions. The point of this dish was to use up vegetables that were on their way out in the freshness department, but I was surprised how well the flavors worked together. The kale is slightly bitter, and has a really strong green flavor, so the sweet peas and bell peppers really add a nice balance.

Finally I made a quick marinade of balsamic vinegar and Dijon mustard and olive oil for my chicken tenders. I threw in some big slices of onion and red bell pepper into the chicken/marinade mix and let it all soak for 40 minutes before baking it in the oven. Easy, and really delicious.

So, as I lay here on the couch feeling somewhat sorry for myself and in a lot of pain, I'm happy that I have some good food in the fridge. Now hopefully I will be better by tomorrow so I can whip up another week's worth of healthy, flavorful food.